“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
I remember that day so clearly. It was a Saturday in April. Prior to that weekend I felt the nudge to do the extraordinary, the pull towards adventure and the discontentment with the routine life of suburbia. I’ve been feeling it for the last two years, but this time it was different. I knew that this time it was my defining moment. God challenged me to take the leap even though I did not know what to do or where to go. I decided to quit my job as a teacher and move out of Jbay. I had made up my mind. That weekend was my single step.
I started telling everyone about my decisions and the reactions to it were interesting. Some people didn’t take me seriously, because I’ve been saying it for two years. Others simply thought I would get over it. Then there were the encourages – bless them- friends and family who understood my gypsy urges.
That was April-May last year, and here I am on the brink of my leap into the unknown. It has been quite a journey.
So I had quit my job in the hopes of moving to Malawi by the end of this month. The Malawi opportunity sounded like ‘just my fit’. My friend from Malawi invited me to join here there by getting involved in her bakery and the community. Malawi was the perfect opportunity to live out my passion for baking people and to satisfy my thirst for adventure. I was certain that would be my next step.
At the end of 2010 I said goodbye to friends and family in J-bay, feeling so grateful for the past 7 years that I had spent here. God has been so good to me and has sent amazing people into my life to mentor, love, encourage, support and even rebuke.
I was ready to move and had a wonderful opportunity to go on a bus tour to Malawi for the December holiday with a tour group. This gave me the chance to check it out, because I have never been there. I would could come back to J-Bay, pack up my house and things, and then move at the end of January 2011. It was so exciting and a wonderful prospect of a new life, culture and experiences.
As I boarded the plane to Joburg, I had such a strong sense that this new adventure is for a greater purpose than my need for change. I realized that my life is not about me and my selfish pursuits. Instead the very essence of who I am and what I do with my life should be to pursue an intimate walk with Christ and to dedicate myself to letting His kingdom come on earth.
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.” – Psalms 19:21
I arrived in Joburg waiting to take the bus to Malawi the next day. The organizer of the tour informed me the bus was in for a service and the trip would be postponed for a day. After waiting two days for the trip to happen, the day finally arrived. I was super excited! Then the bus broke! It was taken in for repairs again, the mechanic could not find any fault, but the moment we were ready to hit the road, IT BROKE AGAIN! By then I had been waiting in Gauteng for a week already. It was days before Christmas and many Malawians were waiting to go home to their families for the holidays, but the bus just did not budge. Then I realized that maybe I am not meant to go to Malawi and maybe it was a bit of a “Jonah and the whale” situation. Sooo……. I got on the plane back to Cape Town, the bus miraculously work and they left for Malawi the next day. I can only be in awe of God and His schemes. It is comforting to know that even if we are heading in the wrong direction, He, so patiently, redirects our paths much like a dad picking up a baby that is crawling towards a cliff.
“There is no plan B – The A-team”
I knew now that God obviously did not want me to go to Malawi, but the problem was that I had quit my job, packed up my life and said farewell to Jbay. I was not sure about the Malawi idea anymore but I was still confident that I made the right decision to quit my job and move. I just did not know where to yet.
I had always been the independent girl Destiny’s Child sings about “The shoes on my feet, I bought it!! I depend on me!” I had my ducks in a row. I could take care of myself. So it was quite unsettling to start the New Year not knowing what I’m doing with my life but also such a liberating feeling to be completely dependent upon God.
Back in Jeffreys Bay I felt like Noah building the ark because I knew I had to pack up and move not knowing a clue where yet. The temptation was to fall back on what I know. It would have been easy to get a teaching gig or another way to make a living but God challenged me to wait in peaceful anticipation for him to reveal his plan. To keep busy I started waitressing at a friend’s coffee shop and got involved in the Ithemba Community Centre.
So one day I bumped into a friend who is a teacher at the Global Leadership Academy, a high school birthed by a mission’s organisation called Global Challenge Expeditions. Global Challenge sends missionaries on various journeys around the globe to spread the Gospel of God’s love. I told her the whole Malawi/waiting on God story. Usually when I bump into people and tell the story some reactions are either “Ag Shame” or “you are koo koo’s in the head!” expressions on their faces. She looked at me and then blurted out “I think you should do a year of Global Challenge!”
It was the stupidest suggestion I had ever heard and I deleted it immediately! You need to understand:
Firstly: I did not want to be a poor missionary.
Secondly: I was expecting God to provide another “grown up” job/career. Doing God’s stuff but getting paid to do it.
Thirdly: I did a year of ministry team after school and that was enough. I was 19 then but I’m 30 now.
Despite all my logical reasons for it being a stupid idea, I was shocked by the involuntary reaction of extreme excitement that shot right through me. I rationalized it as me just being tired (I become hyperactive and delusional when very tired.) That night I could not sleep. I tossed and turned. The butterflies of excitement had grown to be the size of a baby rhino. So I woke up at 3am to google Global Challenge Expeditions, particularly the Explore Africa expedition. Their vision of discipleship, reaching unreached groups and servant leadership and aid in Africa made my heart leap with excitement.
The next day I happened to bump into that friend again and she encouraged me to speak to Global Leadership. I think I kinda knew that if I spoke to them it would start the ball rolling and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that yet. Nonetheless I got over the fear and made an appointment. I bargained with God and told Him that if this is His crazy idea it must
(A) Be a good idea for Global’s leadership too (since applications for the expedition closed in November 2010 and training had started already)
(B) He must provide in a supernatural way. The total cost for the trip is R75 400.
My meeting with Annemarie, one of the leaders went really well. I shared my whole story with her. She smiled and said “when you walked into the office, I knew you were going to do Explore Africa.” She also shared that that they had a gap in the composition of the Explore Africa team been trusting God to send one more person to complete the team of 7.
I knew then that I must do Explore Africa and God will provide and make it possible.
Let’s backtrack to the one single step in the beginning of my story.
“God who sits in heaven, laughs” – Psalm 2 : 4
Can you imagine how cool it must be for God, completely outside of time, knowing the beginning from the end? He must have such a giggle at us, forever pleading and nagging us for the things we MUST HAVE NOW! The things we think we can’t live without. The situations we can’t stand anymore. We forget that while we trust him for a situation, he already knows the outcome and is working things out for our good.
I’m so amazed at how he prepared me for this journey. The past 2 years I had developed such a curiosity to learn about African countries and a desire to travel. Maybe the Malawi job opportunity had to happen because I never would have left my job as a teacher if it meant becoming a missionary in Africa. Now it is an awesome privilege to be completely dependent upon my Heavenly Father and bravely go where he leads…
.. even to the ends of the earth.
To be continued…
I have learnt that love is not really a series of tests to pass to go to another level of intensity, but it is rather a loosing of one self for the sake of your beloved, or cause, to the point where your identity is forever linked what you invest your life in. That is what happens when you love something. That is how you get crazy cat ladies, coffee snobs, bookworms, revolutionaries, rugby supporters.
Joy in Real Life 